Saturday, April 07, 2007

Sk-ism

Launching the Sk-ism blog.

Monday, April 02, 2007

kavitha, kavitha..

... from my kirukkalgal...



Saturday, March 31, 2007

yaarukkaaga, ithu yaarukkaga?

Today, Tamil Nadu "celebrated" State sponsored bandh (ironical that of all parties, "tamil breathing" dravidian parties, using a hindi word). To what end? Just to prove to themselves and to the Center, of the "power" that the ruling party wields.

All because Supreme Court has stayed the case against bill for Reservation for OBC. The court has stayed the case asking for the validity of the data used, which was based on the Census of 1931. And the judgment is not yet out, it is pretty far off in time. However, with reservation being a "sure fire" ammunition for elections, all the parties are vying with each other to get their own share of the pie - the claim to be the beacons of "social justice and equity". After all, caste politics pays rich dividends.

Is the bandh right in any way? Would getting thousands of train passengers stranded outside the borders of TN achieve social justice? Indians take pride in resorting to bandh/dharnas/fast etc, all in the name of practising the "Gandhigiri". What Gandhi did through his bandhs had a reason: by stalling economic activity, which is essentially detrimental to the interests of the British, he tried to attract attention. It was essentially a weak minority (in terms of power) trying to make its powerful "masters" hear its voice. But, now, what does the ruling party wants to achieve by calling for a bandh, discomforting so many of its own people? Why stall all the activity when it has so much power to do a lot for education of the unfortunate lot, which it never seems to really care to think about? Whose attention does it want to attract? Is it like a third standard school teacher who terrifies her class into silence just to "show off" to the Principal? Probably, with every party going for the kill, the "telecom operator" wanted to differentiate his party from the rest by being "louder and clearer". After all, action speaks a lot louder than words.

The apparent reason for this is to call the people of the state to "unanimously voice their support for social justice". All for 27% reservation in higher-education for the OBC and other unfortunate sections of the society. But not many seems to care about providing primary education to them.

Sensationalism is the mantra: be it selling a "cheap" newspaper or weekly, by throwing in a lof freebies that are got through arm-twisting, or capturing the state, through shameless promises of "free" TVs. Probably the highlights (esp the promised TVs) of the manifesto for the last election were "inspired" by the success of "puthusu kanna puthusu". Kottainaalum kumkumamnaalum gameplan onnu thaan.

The government spent crores of tax payer's money on distributing "free" TVs (romba theva naattukku!!! how else can you increase scv cable revenues? and more than anything, what better way to keep the stupidity quotient of tamilians on the high levels than the idiot box itself?). Why can't it spent a portion of that money on providing primary education to the unfortunate sections? That already a lot of the money spent on education goes to the "loyal" party people is another issue anyway. Recently, government shcools in TN were provided with scrap in the name of desks and benches, from the furniture godowns of close aides of the "commander".

What these unfortunate sections need is not just "muttai" and "sathunavu". The opportunity cost of sending a child to school is pretty high i.e. the loss to the family by sending one of its child to school and not to a mechanic shop or a hotel is high. Going/not going to work can mean whether they do/don't get to eat today while education bears economic fruits a lot later. Unless, this opportunity cost is paid, bringing those unfortunate kids to school is almost impossible. Probably something like school vouchers can be a solution like Milton Friedman said. While school vouchers are essentially like prepaid cards to buy education for your kids, what we need here is essentially payment to study - come to school, get paid. Though it sounds like scholarships, the essential difference is that the payment to the student is over and above the education expenses, which is again met by the government. Again, administering school vouchers wouldn't be easy, given how "safe" stocks in our ration shops are. But, is there any other way to bring those unfortunate kids to take up the "reserved" seats? All that we would end up doing with this reservation is to make the kids of the so-called creamy layer in the OBC even lazier.

The problem is how to increase the pie rather than just fighting mindlessly over the existing insufficient one.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

poguthe... poguthe...

Is love real?

The author of this blog is too intelligent to fall for a positive answer. Yeah, many of you might read 'intelligence' as the manifestation of the 'sour grapes syndrome'. But, believe me, that is not the case here.

Love is just a thought. If you think you are in love, you are. They say love is a beautiful feeling that just happens. Really?

First, feeling or emotion is a just a manifestation of a mishmash of innumerous thoughts, most of which we never know existed. Anything other than the involuntary physiological activities has to have an origin in the brain. Plain and simple. But if it is all about thoughts, how does one have that beautiful feeling of “butterflies in the stomach” on seeing the loved one(s)? Hormones. Just like a surge of adrenaline readies you to fight or flee in the face of danger.

Second, the notion of chance i.e. “it just happens” is the biggest farce. Well, probably it might be true in the case of irreparable idiocy or an abnormally strong memory, which holds dusty archives of “pona jenmathu” experiences. Probably they forgot to add a few words i.e. “it just happens for a reason (or rather multiple reasons, many forgotten)”.

There is a very commonly used, yet seldom understood animal called “unconditional love”. BS. You say the love a mom has for her daughter is unconditional? Think again. It is “unconditional” as far as the daughter behaves. As long as she meets her mom’s expectations. Let her marry a guy against the mom’s wishes and then you will see how “unconditional” the love was. The existence of love is contingent upon the extent to which the expectations are met. Love is about managing expectations. Unmet expectations lead to undesirable consequences, which leads to pain. Yeah, something like what the Buddha said about the root cause of human suffering.

I say, love isn’t, lust is. Love is just an excuse to do or not to do something. It is a concept of convenience that has to be economically viable, emotionally satiable and politically stable. That is asking for too much, huh? Like the Impossible Trinity or economic trilemma? How about friendship? Is it not unconditional? I think most of you are not stupid enough to ask this question in the first place. Anyway, for the others, the answer is no.

So what if love is predicated upon meeting expectations? Is it not that stuff that makes life worth living? I have my own doubts. That said, I have been and will be stupid enough throughout my life to fall in love. And intelligent enough to come out of it, when I had to, with lesser scars. ;)

I am reminded of the lines from my fav comic book hero, Lucky Luke.

"I''m a poor lonesome cowboy, and a long way from home..."

Tail piece:

Actually, what made me write this is the irresponsiveness of a few of my online/offline friends. He/she might have had his/her own reasons to not to respond to me. But the pain is real. A "F*ck off. Don’t ever talk to me again" is much better than a refusal and slow withdrawal. At least, it helps me reset my thought engine immediately and go on.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Oh, what a f*ck!!!

I just love Osho. Check this out and you will know why. Then, you too start loving him too. ;)

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Vela mela vela...

Whom do you think uses his (saripaa samathuvavaathigala, his/her) brain more? The one who keeps his eyes glued to the monitor and his fingers to the keyboard, burning his ‘seat’ off? The one who sees to that the coffee machines keep working harder than himself? The one who goes home once in a while just to make sure that his family doesn’t forget him, and he, his family and address? Or is it the lively one who rarely warms his seat and keeps spreading light of his love and wisdom across cabins, irrespective of the high walls in between?

Did you say – the one who warms his seat the most uses the brain the most? Well, if you say, hotter the seat is, better the brain, you are terribly wrong. May be, he uses his bum more than he uses his brain. Just doing what you are told is not as hard as it seems. You know what you got to do and how to do what you got to do. But, just think about the minority that is left to create work for itself. Imagine how hard the brains of those elite few have to work to keep them occupied. Now, you will realize whose brain works harder.

Okay, a little christening exercise now. In desi Dilbertesque ishtyle, we’ll call the hard-workers, seat-warmers, and the other intelligent minority, heart-warmers. I think I don’t have to discuss about seat-warmers, as I am sure most of you would be one of them and know much more about them than me. So, now that you realize that your bum is burning, before you rush off to cool it down, read through the rest of the post to know what it takes to be a heart -warmer.

You might have heard such comments on heart-warmers more often than not. “The company pays you to keep you from working. Your pay is to insure against the disaster – your work. – trying to imply “You are good for nothing and your work sucks”, but essentially thinking “You must be too smart to be like this”. This is just a collective whine from the dumb masses which make up the seat-warming community.

But, the truth is management values the heart-warmers more than the other species. Not everybody can be made a heart-warmer. You need exceptional creativity to be one. Kudutha velaiya seirathu kashtam illa, kudukkatha velaya seirathu thaan kashtam. Plain and simple.

So the next time, you ask heart-warmers “Enna innikkum vettiyaa?”, just realize how DUMB you are to be a seat-warmer and more than anything, the management very well knows that.

Remember the old advert for polio eradication featuring Rajnikanth that used to be aired in the mid-80s, especially during the Sunday night movies?

“Maan maathiri thullittu pora intha kulanthaiya paarunga. Intha kuzhanthaiyaiyum paarunga. Intha nelama unga kulanthaiku varaama irukka polio drops podunga

Need I say more on this?

Your seat/heart warming capacity is heavily dependent on what your parents told you about work and how naïve you were to believe all of that.

Work is worship? Then what is God? Idleness. Of course, you all very well know that God created the world in six days and on the seventh day, He rested. Do you get it?

Be Idle, Be God.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Saturday, February 24, 2007

The Original Sin

Warning
This post talks about religion and sex.
Just ask yourself whether you can utter the word "sex" without any hesitation. If you can't, then this post is not for you. Please be warned.

I am proud for having born a Hindu and i m not jingoistic about it. Neither do i belong to the saffron brigade. Just like the longstanding question on whether there was ever a country called India as we know it now, I doubt whether there was really anything that was called Hinduism. What we now call Hinduism is how the West sees it. What could have happened was that after putting faiths like Jainism and Buddhism, which had a recorded history, into neat little boxes, as the western logic always requires, the historians would have just scooped up the leftovers and made up a medley and decided to call it Hinduism, after Hindustan, which was after the Indus.

So what is there to be proud about a religion that is made of such "left-overs"? What makes my heart swell when I think i am born a Hindu? It is just that Hinduism is much much deeper and multifaceted than any other religion on this whole wide world. Though I don't believe that Hinduism is a single religion, I just wonder at the co-existence (i know i cannot call it "peaceful", for bloody duels between various faiths is written all over our history) of so many beliefs like vaishnava, shaiva and what not in our country.

Whatever it was, India as a nation was certainly more liberal than it is today in its past. How else can you build a Khajuraho or write a KamaSutra? Down south, there is something called Kokkoka Saasthram, along the lines of KS. Cut and pan to today. Motha ulagathukkum vazhi kaatura maathiri namma oor aalu ezhuthuna oru great reference/handbook-a naamalae padikarathukkulla 1008 problem. But what to do, thirst for knowledge is so high. So, namma pasanga oor ellaam suthi epdiyaavathu unofficial versions vaangiduvaanga. Aanaa, supply economics wreaks a havoc. With so many knowledge-seekers, the demand-supply situation is heavily imbalanced. And with information asymmetry, there is no way to compare the products and prices and more often than not, you end up paying atrociously high prices. However, technology, especially internet, is a great enabler for knowledge sharing!!! Ennadaa ivan, ivlo kevalamaanavana irukkane nu yosikkireengala? If a guy says he hasn't done all this, know that he is lying through his teeth. If you really think he can't be lying, then run as fast and far as you can and call Will Smith/Tommy Lee Jones, ya the MIB team, and tell them you have a unearthly specimen.

So why this regressive thinking? One major reason could be, as Suresh pointed out, the fact that we were under British for over a century and that they followed a religion that cast sex as sin.

So why do I say so much about sex? Why do i say Hinduism is better than other monotheist religions like Christianity or Islam? It is because of their sexist attitude, the roots of which run deep into the basic understanding of sex. Sexual energy is the only energy available to man (woman). Before hitting out at me, just take a little time to think. The basic idea of culture/religion is to move man above his natural instincts to survive and mate (probably mating is also part of the instinct to survive through progeny). What after the basic instinct? BI 2 nu ratham varra maathiri kadikkaatheenga.

Let's revise a basic law from high school science class - Law of conservation of energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but can be transformed into another form. Anything fluid, be it water, electric current or sex energy, flows through the path of least resistance. The change is not possible by adding more resistance to the path. Resistance is temporary. Energy being active creates it own paths, which can be even more damaging. Transformation of the energy is the only solution. The question is how to bring about the redirection of the energy. How to create new paths for the energy to flow? Art, dance, song. Don't ask me what religion did the cave man follow when he danced around his woman or not? He could very well have danced and sung beautifully. It is just that religion provides a framework within which these can be performed.

Hinduism is the only religion, as far as i know, which celebrates sex while others condemn it in all ways, with little effect. In fact, the lingha form of Shiva, one of the important amd most popular Hindu gods, represents the male-female union. Just compare this with the approaches of other religions. All of them try to enslave man through the chains of guilt. By declaring the very core instinct of man as sin, they just make sure that there is no way to escape. And the preachers immediately get to sit on the "moral" high throne, from where they can look down and point fingers at the wretched souls who wallow in guilt they just created so craftily. Just think how Eve has been condemned all through for the original sin and thereby causing all the misery. As if Adam is perfect. Avanukku avlo arivu irunthaa Eve kitta "athu forbidden fruit. ennaala atha eduthu thara mudiyathu." nu solla vendiyathu thaane. And just think how we, who worshipped that very human union, have become "conservative" about it?

I don't mean that everything was perfect with Hinduism in the past. It never was and surely it would never be. Neither do i advocate mindless indulgence. In fact, i have no answer if you ask me: why such a liberal society, as i claim it to be, didn't come up with a steam engine. But, i am sure of one thing: sex is a basic instinct that will be present for ever. It cannot be won over by fighting; it has to be transformed. And Hinduism had much better understanding of man than any other religion.

Romba naal munnadi kavitha ezhutharaennu kirukkunathula irunthu rendu vari ippo solren. It would be very apt here.

Yethaiyum kadappathu kai koodum - athan
Vithaiyaai nirpathu kanda pin

Monday, February 19, 2007

Is Coke God?

Note:
Ennada ivan aah-ooh na Suresh illa Usha blog pathi solraan? Sonthamaa yosikkave maattana nu yosikkatheenga. I just happened to start writing this post on reading the following quote on Suresh's blog and after the "Is there a God?" debate on Neeyaa-Naanaa program on Vijay TV (it was yucky anyway)


"If atheism is a religion, not collecting stamps is a hobby"


There is a major blunder in this apparently "brilliant" statement. Aama ivar periya nakkeerar parambara, sorkuttram, porutkuttram kandupichu solla vandhuttaru...!!! Anyway, religion is a state; hobby is an activity. Atheism is a state that is a negation of another state. Mind you, i din't say negative state: i said it is negation of another state. Nonetheless, both are states. It is a belief, either in the presence or absence of God. On the other hand, collecting stamps is a activity... (kandupuduchuttaruppa columbusu!!!), the absence of an activity doesn't lead to another activity. Just think about it.

Is there a God? Yes, if you believe it and No, if you don't. Well, that might seem too dumb, so uncharacteristic of the author of this blog. But, this requires some deep thought. I don't want to go into the tricky part of defining what is god. Throughout history, man has defined God as all that is unexplainable. Such complex issues are best left to theologians.

Let's focus on an even more important and practical question. Why do we need God? Religion is a tool to integrate oneself. To create an individual: to form the whole from pieces. As ironical as it may sound, I believe that was the purpose. After all, manitha manam oru kurangu. The mind is the most fluid of all things on earth and religion, being the tool used to integrate it, should have a certain structure, call it rigidity if you will. This necessitates rituals and symbols, which are more powerful than words, to create a sense of purpose. Just like the Coke bottle or the Mac golden arches or the Starbucks logo. Man cannot live without symbols, be it in the pitch dark caves of the stone age or in a sprawling penthouse in present day Manhattan.

Symbols are powerful and very personal. And therefore, often liable to be misinterpreted by others and sometimes even by those who use it. So is God just a symbol like the Coke bottle? Much more than that; religious symbols too convey a meaning but something that is much more deeper and valuable than these dumb logos. But, it is when these rituals lose their spirit or bhava and and symbols, their meaning, they become blind-faiths that so-called atheists, "the defenders of rationality", go on to ridicule ad nauseam. Every symbol has a deep meaning, it is us who have lost the keys to the rich secrets of these symbols.

I just hate these so-called atheists for the "superior intellect" that they assume they have just based on the "virtue" of 'denying God'. At best, almost all of these are pseudo-intellectuals who try to make themselves popular by being against something even more popular. You are bad, that makes me better. You dont know logic as we see it, that means we are from MIT. That's sickening reasoning, 'comrades'!!! Intha sabaiyil paattu ezhuthi per vaangum pulavargalum irukkiraargal, kuttram kandu pidithae per vaangum pulavargalum irukkirargal!!

And certainly there are some tools in religion that have outlived their utility and need to be repaired. Some are broken and need to be replaced. But, to claim intellectual superiority just based on denial of other's beliefs is too childish. I know this is the most cliched expression but i have to use it. All religions lead to God, just like all rivers flow into the ocean. Aanaa, problem enna na namma aalungalla pala per nadhikkaraila ukkaanthuttu ithula kulichaa thaan gnanam porakkumnu katha pesittae sethu poyidaraanga. Kadasivaraikkum yaarume nadhila yerangi kulikkarathae illa.

Osho used to say: There are two kinds of religion - one is the religion of the heart and another is the religion of the mind. Today, our hearts are dry and our minds are clouded. So we could follow neither the heart nor the mind. That explains the confusion.

Next: Hinduism - Answer for everything

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Valentine's day special!!!!

Valentine's day a munnittu namma blog-la oru VIP guestoda interview.... Vazhakkamaa ellaa thinathukkum, be it, Independence day, Republic Day, Diwali, Pongal.. ellaathukkum ella channel-layum ethavathu marketae illaatha oru actor/actress interview thaan irukkum. This highly esteemed blog and its even more highly respected author, in line with their tradition of thinking different and intelligent, bring you, the most-intelligent souls on Mother Earth, a totally different experience for this fateful day!!!

Sari, program-ukku polaamaa? neenga ivlo neram kashtappattu yosichu vecha list-la irukkavanga yaarum illa. As we told, you this blog is Different!!! antha VIP vera yaarum illa... the balloon seller on the street...

Vaanga vaanga, vanakkam!!!
Interview-va Konjam seekiram mudichutteengannaa naan kelambuven. Time is wealthunga. Seekkiram ponaa 4 balloon serthu vithuduven. Apdiyae, innum neraya theru mudichuttu... beachukku poganum...

Unga business-a valathukka enna enna puthusaa seireenga?
Actuallaa paatheengannaa national level-la oru in-the-film promos thodarnthu pannittu irukkom. Enga promo la Shah Rukh la irunthu Jeyam Ravi varaikkum use pannirukkom.

Wow!! Shah Rukh Khan balloon vithaaraa? Nambavae mudiyalayae? Konjam puriyara maathiri sollreengalaa?
Athu illeenga. Main Hoon Na padathula paatheengannaa "Gori... Gori...", athaanga antha party song, athula paatheenganna fullaa white and red balloon use panni setting pottruppanga. Atha paathu Prabhu Deva-vum Nuvvosthanante Nenodhantanaa (happaa saami, padathukku peru vekkaaranga paaru... 7 mile neelathukku!!!) la athae maathiri pannaru. Aprom, Jeyam Raviyum avanga annan Remake Raja-vum Something Something padathulayum balloon-a use pannaanga.

Wow!! great!! Ellaa kadailayum thaan balloon kedaikuthu, avanga avangalae vaangi oothikka maattaangala? Appo unga business adi padaathaa?
illeenga athukku chancea illeenga.

Athu yepdi avlo sure-aa solreenga? Ethana padathula lover-oda moochu kathu irukkunnu hero kadaisi varaikkum antha balloon-a bathiramaa vechuruppaar?
Naan business nallaa pogum nu solrathukku kaaranam intha kaalathu pasangaloda intelligence thaanga kaaranam. Munna maathiri illa pasanga, neraya per MBA padichuttu thelivaayittanga. At least oru vishayathulayavathu, avanga padicha diversification principle-a apply pannraanga. Munna maathiri orey ponnukku mattum balloon kudukkarathu illa. Periya portfolio-vae vechurukkaanga. So engaloda regular customer segment la irunthu nalla demand irukkum. In fact, we expect the number and size of such portfolios to grow manifold. We further plan to promote this with "Hearts Highness", a popular crush contest wherein we ask "how many hearts do you have?" at the end of the day and the boy/gal with the highest number of hearts, i mean heart-shaped balloons, win exciting prizes including a year's supply of balloons!!!

Aamaa, entha maathiri balloonukku neraya demand irukkum?
Heart shape la irukka balloonukku thaanga yegappatta giraakki. Athuvum red colorla irunthaa thaan vaanguvaanga. Vera colorla irunthaa vaanga maattanga.

Sari, athu yen eppovum heart shapela balloon vikkireenga? Brain shape la vikka koodaathaa?
Athaavathu, kandippa irukkunnu therinja onna kudukkalaam. Neraya perukku irukkaa, illiyaa nu theriyaatha onna epdi gift-aa kudukkarathu... Brain shape balloon kudukkarathula neraya problem... The receiver might say "Why are you giving me brains? Don't you think I have one?" or (s)he might ask "unakku thaan yerkanave athu illaennu theriyum, aprom yenga irunthu itha pudicha? enakku venaam, neeyae vechukko. unakku thaan romba useful-laa irukkum..."

Exactly!! Vera enna enna plan vechurukkeenga...unga business-a improve panna?
Enga product positioning-a konjam maathi neraya different target segments-ku cater pannra maathiri promotion pannalaamnu irukkom.

Epdi? Can you please explain?
Of course, you know who the biggest target customer segment is - the easy-to-fool young softies and their "equally intelligent" relatives in ITES sectors.

We also try to target the loners with a philosophical bent with the mantra "kaayamae ithu poiyadaa, verum kaatradaitha paiyyadaa". Balloon exemplifies this important truth.

Ya, quite true. So how about people without gf/bf-s? How do you plan to cater ot their needs?
Some of what i am going to say now, i mean the positioning content, won't be suitable for children. [So the "good" people among the readers of this blog are advised to exercise their discretion and skip this answer and move on to the next question. Aprom vanthu enna paathu "ivlo kettavanaa nee?" apdinnu kekkaatheenga. Athaan sonnam la adutha questionukku pongannu... All this is the balloon seller's views.]

Of course, we plan to sell more to the winners, by highlighting the dual-purpose utility of our special balloons. For the losers, who have no gf/bf-s, we have the "Yeh dil do more" range of products. Made from imported wear and tear resistant rubber. Available in "exciting" forms. We believe this product range is going to be a rage among the Indian majority - i mean, the intelligent people who understand that a relationship with the opposite gender is essentially economic-loss making proposal and look out for smarter means to the end. And more than that, unlike the heart-shaped balloons which are seasonally driven, we expect the "Yeh dil do more" range to a be a major stable revenue source, for we see strong demand all through the year. So you will see a lot of innovation happening here on the material technology front and design forms in the coming years.

Just one more question. You seem to know a lot of marketing stuff? How come?
Well I am a marketing prof in a MBA institute. Money i get from selling balloons is much more than what i get for a year. And more over, I get free workforce: i meant the "intelligent" people who spend lakhs and lakhs, apart from their energy for preparing for the entrance exams, to get into MBA courses, especially marketing disciplines. I just design this as part of the on-the-field experience for the marketing "studs" among my students. Btw, however hard i try, finance guys are too intelligent!!!

Ok, thanks for your valuable time, Mr.Prof!!!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Coffee machinum, Kadavulin thoothargalum...

Neenga kudichathulayae kevalamaanaa coffee ethu? I bet it is the coffee you get served in the office, that is, if you have the luxury of getting it served at your desk. Office coffeeya kudichuttu neenga patta kodumaiya pathi anniyan.com la ezhuthi podunga. Avar Garuda Puraanathuppadi neethi vazhunguvaar!!!

1 cup paal la 1/2 cup thanni kalanthaa thappaa?
"athu epdinga thappaagum?"

Athae 1 cup paal la 1 cup thanni kalanthaa thappaa?
"athu epdeenga overflow aayidaathungala?"

Dei p********u, ithellaam nallaa kelu. naan ketta kelvikku bathil solludaa.
"aamaanga, thappu maathiri thaan theriyuthunga!"

Ippo, athae 1 cup paal la 1 flask thanni kalantha thappaa?
"aamaanga, romba periya thapputhaanga"

Appo, inimel daily nee potta coffeela 4 cup neeyae kudikkanum.
"ithukku poi ivlo periya thandanaingalaa?"

Dei venna, naan enna naattaamaiyaada, theerpa maathunnu solra. Naan anniyanda.... anniyanda.. anniyanda... [ellaam Vijaykanth padathula varra maathiri moonu moonu thadava sollanumaadaa ungalukku..!!]

(And Anniyan moves off with the grand background score, which apparently was a "inspiration" from the "Passion of Christ" bgm.)

Next comes the coffee from the vending machine in office.

Athu ennamo therila... enna marmamo therila, irukka ellaa officelayum coffee machinea manushanga yaarume (sometimes sunlight and air kooda) poga mudiyaatha eduthula thaan vechuruppaanga. Probably, i think it is part of the corporate etiquette.

Coffee machine ku poittu varrathae etho haunted house la horror ride poittu varra maathiri thaan irukkum!!!
You would never know what all creatures you can find in that innocent looking coffee machine!!! Darwin's job would have been a lot easier if he had had access to a coffee machine in the present day offices: after all, where else can you find creatures from all the evolutionary stages that too all in one place? You name it, it has got it! I wouldn't be surprised if i find a T-rex in there tommorrow.

Aanaa, athula paarunga, ethu epdi irunthaalum, namma aalunga romba thairiyasaalinga. Namma aalungalukku ethayum thaangum idhayam, and athukkum mela, sorry keezha, ethayum thaangum vayiru! Veetula amma pottu tharra nalla coffeeya kudikka maattanga. Officela, kandathum kudiyirukkura kaapi machinela irunthu thaan 4-5 cup coffee styleaa kudippaanga. Ippo thaan yen namma aalunga officela coffee yum coke/pepsiyum maathi maathi kudikkaraangannu velanguthu... Coffeela irukka pest-a sari katta Coke la irukka pesticide! Despite the low grades i got in my marketing papers in my MBA, now I know why Coke sells Georgia Coffee machines too! And what better way to create demand for your supply!!! I would call this important phenomenon, product symbiosis (btw, i know it's not a complement!), the exact opposite of product cannibalization!!! I think Mr Kotler would include this valuable insight in his next book on marketing!!!

Ennada ivan title ku sambanthamae illaama Perarasu maathiri punch dialogue-aa pesittu irukkaanae? Tamil padam maathiri kadaisi varaikkum kathaikkae vara maattano nu bayappadaatheenga. Katha konjam chinnathu... athaan. Konjam extra comedy track ellaam serkka vendiyathaayiduchu. Now, kathaikku varuvom.

Ever wondered which is the most misunderstood poor creature in the world? Now don't tell me you don't have time for all such silly things. After all, you have had so much time to count how many times Jade abused our sweet siren Shilpa in Celebrity Big Brother? Ok, now for the answer. Cockroaches. No it isn't a typo. Cockroaches ellaam kadavulin thoothargal. Not many of you recognize that cockroaches are the most important of the Saviours of mankind that GOD has ever sent to us. Epdinnu kekkureengala?

Have you noticed that almost invariably you come across at least one cockroach, if not more, when you try to get a coffee from the vending machine in the office? Yen nu eppavaavathu yosichurukkeengala? They try to convey the message from God, which we seldom understand.

"Intha coffee ellaam unga nimmathiyaana thookkatha kedukka nadakkara periya sathi! All this is a part of a global scheme to extract more from employees by depriving them of their right to sleep."

Being the dumbest ever creation of God, (wo)man never listens to this warning from God. Some cockroaches that love you the most just drown themselves in the coffee just to save you for the day!!! Not even your boyfriend would do that for you!!!

To listen to the message from God, go nowhere. Go to to that vending machine in the most dreadful corner of your office. So, the next time you see those loving beings, say a whole hearted thanks as loudly as you can. Your colleagues might look at you like "how come you weren't wearing leaves and feathers?"

But, don't worry about those ignoramuses, let them drink the coffee, work harder and burn themselves, while you sleep at your desk all the way to God!!!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Udumalaipettaiyil irunthu Saravanan...

This is going to be so uncharacteristic of my previous posts. It is going to be longer than usual and almost all of it is in tamil. The tone of this post is highly inspired/influenced by Usha and Suresh. So warn pannalaennu pinnaala sollaathinga. Unakkulla ipdi oru anniyaanaa/ virumaandiyaa nu kekkureengala? Ellaarukkulayum oru kozhandhai as well as oru kuttisaathan irukkum. Ithu SK vin kuttisathaan neram.

Receptions attend panrathula irukka kashta nashtangala pathi ungalukku naan solli theriya vendiyathu illa. Figures. Fun. Food. (not necessarily in the same order!!!) Athulayum paarunga friends receptionukku porathula neraya plus irukku. Orey kallula ombothu maanga adikkalaam! Enna da ivan odd numberaa solraanaennu thappu thappaa nenaikkareengala? How long do we keep sayin orey kallula rendu maanga... oru learning curve effect ellaam kanakkula eduthukka venaamaa... varushakkanakkaa train panni rendu mattum thaanaa.... n more over this is even more rhythmic. ;)

Aanaa, sonthakkaranga weddingku porathula yegappatta lollu: onnaa... rendaa... eduthu solla. First and foremost, namma freedom totally gone. Namma Michel Adam oda FTv ya thookkam kettu vidiya vidiya paathu paathu kashtappattu valathukkitta international fashion knowledge ellaam demo panna mudiyaathu! Deejentaa i mean decentaa dress pannittu poganum, yennaa adutha surukku kayiru namakkaaga kooda irukkalaam. So thappikkanumnaa paratta thalaiyoda oru rangeaa ponaa thaan mudiyum. Aanaa amma kitta yaaru thittu vaangarathu? "Yenda ipdi en maanatha vaangara. Innikkaavathu thalaikku konjam enna pottu seevi, konjam decentaa dress panna koodaathaa?"

Ithukketha maathiri sonthakkara paiyyan evanaavathu oruthan apdiyae etho MNC interviewku pora rangela vandhuruppaan. (Namma thaan interviewukkae kooda decentaa ponathaa history geography ethuvum kedayaathae!! After all, losing one's Individual identity is more dangerous than death nu Gita la Krishnar sonnathaa thalaivar Osho sollirukkaar!!)

"Avana paaru, evlo nallaa dress pannittu vandhurukkaan. Un moonjiya poi kannaadila paaru. Intha latchanathula naan epdi unakku nee kekkara maathiri azhagaana ponnaa paakkarathu. Intha kaalathu ponnungalukku ellaam konjam kozhuppu jaasthi. (ok ok this s MY valuable insight!) Nalla velai la irunthaa mattum poraathu, paakkarathukum nallaa azhagaa Hritik maathiri irukkanum." Hrithik maathiri irunthaa Naan yen ipdi oru moonjiya kattren... naanum apdiyae oru Rani Mukherjee, Deepika Padukone nu poga maattenaa. Grrrr. Namma udane diplomaticaa "Ennoda nalla Manasa mattum paakkura ponnaa paarunga.. pothum" Athu epdi manasa paakkarathunnu enakkum theriyaathu. Unga yaarukkavathu therinjurunthaa sollunga. Punniyamaa pogum!!!

Innum neraya comedy nadakkum. Oru sila per apdiyae sales agents kanakkaa tie katti (intha vegaatha veyyila... ennaangadaa dei!!) shoe ellaam pottuttu vandhu scene poduvaanunga. Innum sila per oru padi mela poi coat-suitngara per la yetho onna maattikittu yetho Bill Gates maathiri moonjiya vechuttu suthuvaanunga. Athuvum intha maapla veettu la irukka pasanga irukkanungalae avanunga lollu thaan jaasthiyaa irukkum. Chinna chinna pasanga ellaam kooda coata maattittu koduma pannuvaanunga. Ponnunga dress kekkavae venaam. Namma konjam nostalgic feelings la engeyaavathu pavada dhaavani kannula thattu padumaannu paathaa onnum irukkathu. Ellaam kannaadi, jimki, mani, muthu nu keela kedakkara ellaa thundu thukkadaakkala vechu thechcha "fancy" chudidhaar pottuttu ramp walk panni alahu kaattuvaanga.

Aprom, almost ellaarum therinjavangalaa iruppaanga, i mean at least appa amma ku therinjavanga. Oru oramaa othungi nimmathiyaa namakku pudichavangala oru kalai paarvaiyoda paakka kooda mudiyaathu. Aalaalukku maathi maathi "ennappa epdi irukka, enga vela seira..." nu kettu kodaivaanga. Ellaathukkum vazhinjukkitte bathil sollanum. Ellaam aduthu antha appaavi paiyyana maatti vidurathukku thaan. "Sandhosamaa irukkaennaa sollu, aduthu varra nalla muhoorthamaa paathu orey podaa bali potruvom..."

Ithu kooda paravayilla, "Evlo sambaarikkara?" nu innum investigation vera. Haiyo kadavulae, ponnunga kitta vayasa (aamaam periya thangamala ragasiyam... paathaalae theriyum ara kelavi aayachunnu!!!) kekka koodathunnu solra maathiri oru paiyyan kitta salarya thayavu senju kekkaatheenga!!! Ithukku bayanthe neraya per weddings attend panrathae illa. Itha vida koduma ennannaa, salarya kettuttu "Nee padicha padippukku ivlo kammiya thaanaa kedaikkuthu. Enga annan paiyyan unna vida sumaaraa thaan padichaan, aanaa innikku singapore la irukkaan. Nalla salary. Neeyum yen angallaam try panna koodaathu. Venumnaa sollu, naan avan kitta pesi vela ethavathu irukkaannu try panna solren." nu Free Career Counseling vera!!

Innum konja methaavinga apdiyae e-n-g-l-i-s-h (athaanga broken english nu solluvaangalae!!) la pesi kolluvaanga. Etho MBA padichuttengarathukkaaga nammalum athae e-n-g-l-i-s-h la naalu vartha pesittu essaagarathukkulla uyir poidum. Athuvum, ethaavathu central govt employeesaa irunthutta avlo thaan... tholanjom. "In 1978, i think, appo ellaam nee poranthurukka kooda maatta nu nenakkiraen..."

[Ayya, obviously,enga appa amma kalyaname athukkapuram thaan nadanthuthu!!! Btw, ungalukku konjam sumaaraa oru ponnu irukkumae, Chennaila engineering padikkuthae, atha yen koootittu varala, naanum engg padichurukken... ethaavathu doubt, books venumnaa contact panna sollunga.."] ellaam mindla odum, vaaya thoranthu solla mudiyaathu: namma thaan romba mariyathai therinja paiyyanaache!!

Sari paravaayilla da Saravana, vaazhkainaa ipdi naalum irukkum. Athukkunnu nambikkai ilakka koodathu, nambikkai thaan vaazhkai nnu namma manasa thettittu ponaa, Vithi superaa sadugudu vilayaadum. All coz of time and place of birth!!

"
Yenga... unga rangekku etho oru eeyamo, pithalaiyo, poosunatho, poosaathatho, athu maathiri irukkarathungala paakka koodathungalaa? Apdi paathaa unga maanathukku yethaavathu izhukku vandhudungalaa?" nu Koundamani kekkara maathiri yetho onnunaalum paravayillannu othukkarathukku namma Royal taste and thanmaanam vittu kudukkaathu. Namma apdiyae Mani Ratnam heroine maathiri illa theduvom.

"Naan epdi irunthaalum paravavilayilla, nee nallaa irukkanum" nu solrathukku artham ithu thaan!!! ;)

Aanaa, 7 1/2 thaan namma koodavae poranthathaachae!!! Dates vaangara rangela (naan heroine callsheet rangeukku sollala... i mean pericham pazham) kooda onnum irukkaathu. Muyarichi udayaar igalchi adayaar... aduthathula paathukkalaam nu seermigu Chennai ku thirumba vendiyathu thaan!

Intha kedu ketta pozhappa pathi ivlo ezhuthittu irukkiyae, unakku vela vetti illiyaa? nu kekkara methaavinga, Stop. One nimit! Ithayum ukkaanthu padikkireengalae ungala vidavaa naan vettiyaa irukken? Sollunga....

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Lies, sweet lies...


Lie is beautiful.


If it is not, what else can be? Right?

The most beautiful things in life are lies. It has to be that way. Always an "unheard song is sweeter". Anything that comes into the realm of reality loses its beauty. So if you find something to be beautiful, it has to be a lie. ;)

Man is made to lie. Reality is so dumb, dry and boring that you don't need brains to do anything with it. It is lies that require to be nourished by your creative juices. In fact, reality is a myth. Reality is a lie that is conceived badly and constructed imperfectly.

If you want to be human, you have no other choice but to lie. Any doubts? Consider this. The only stuff that separates man from his predecssors in the evolutionary spiral is creativity. Or should I call it a maze and not a spiral, which implies a progress/hierarchy, considering that we tend to shuttle between different cells/stages and most often, find ourselves totally lost and in places that we wouldn't want to be. Now, if you ever want to be creative , you got to lie. After all, creativity is essentially lying to yourself and of course to others that this is not IT. The essence of creativity is challenging reality. It is about thinking beyond. So, it is essential to lie if you want to be human.

If somebody finds that you were bluffing: don't panic and run like a fool to switch your faith to truth. Just know that all that is needed is that your lies got to get better and necessarily bigger.

For instance, if a girl asks you to stop lying when you tell her she is beautiful, don't do just that. All that she wants is a much bigger lie that brings a burp. So, for starters, you can say she is better than aish and then move on to serve her a multi-course meal depending on your creativity. Or another lie that works better: more than wanting to know what you think about her beauty, i think she would be happier to hear you say that aish is uglier than her. Although both mean essentially the same, the second one has a much stronger emotional appeal. ;)

You can get the help of so many philosophical bestsellers for improving your skills of creating the alternatives to truth or if you have enough money and don't know what to do with it, do an MBA. You will learn how to lie not only with words but also with numbers.

As Indians, we are a bunch that always has been fascinated by our own ability to stick to the truth. This has far deeper implications than you can possibly imagine. You haven't had even a glimpse of it even in your wildest dreams. Let me explain. As a nation, we have always been in the search, which is destined to be futile, for the "ultimate, beautiful, pristine truth". For that "beautiful truth" is a well-conceived and perfectly perpetuated lie . Such perfect lies are more dangerous than any dictators the world has seen. The damage they do is insidious and lasts for generations together. Lies are like fully loaded guns, your life rests on which side of it you are. For long, we have locked up our creativity in the name of honesty and we have been at the receiving end of bigger and bigger lies, which is why we were fooled by a bunch of pigtail sporting liars from far across. Even now, the scene hasn't changed much and most of us stay at the same receiving end. It is high time we unleashed our creativity and started telling bigger and bigger lies. All said, creative people in the west keep weaving bigger and better lies that always win.

Of course, i know, in the long run, truth alone triumphs. But, in the long run, everybody would be dead, as Keynes says.

Tail piece:
If you find this to be a beautiful piece of prose, you are absolutely right: very very rarely truth is beautiful and THIS is one such instance. Better believe that and intensify your lying process.
On the other hand, if you think it is ugly, then you are abnormal: you do have a knack of understanding the truth on the face of it for as i said nothing except lies can be beautiful.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Naadham en jeevanae... 2

After a much heavy philosophical topic, i am back to my prayer. I am painfully aware of the fact that this post bears a ever higher risk of stating the most obvious. So once again, let me say this post is not going to add anything to whatever you might already know. After all, every prayer does the same: repeating the omnipotency of God that everybody supposes to be knowing, but in varying colours. Now that i have established my music credentials in the previous post on IR, let us get straight to the point.

No composer, i think, would have so much to his credit.

In recognition of the futility of this whole exercise of translating my love in to words, i think i would better wind up with just a few more observations. Probably they might help you enjoy more the next time you happen to hear IR.

Leave alone the subjective issues of quality. Just look at the mere volume of the creative output of the maestro. They say about Bill Gates' wealth: if you stack dollar bills, equal to Bill's net worth, one over another, it would reach the moon (well, i don't personally vouch for the veracity of this story!!!). Likewise, if one were to play illayaraja's songs back-to-back without repeating any of them, I think it would last for a lifetime... (ahem! now you math geeks out there, don't take out your calculators...) And the success rate in terms of song recall (hehehe like the 'brand recall' as the ad guys use) is simply amazing, given this huge a volume.

Spice

The variety of IR's output, in terms of the emotions and music styles, is just mind boggling. He can make you laugh your heart out, prance around with joy or get down on your knees and cry: all with a single violin. He can make you feel lustful with a flute and with the same piece of bamboo, take you to the God, whom you would not get to this easy. He can arouse you with a 'urumi' melam and put you off a classic composition on the veena. I seriously doubt whether any one else would be able to create the romance of a "Valayiosai" (Sathya) or a Vaa vaa anbe (Agni Natchatram).

And apparently, there seems to be a notion of Carnatic-Western fusion being a new idea. The so-called Indian-Western fusion has so much jarring pieces of sounds from different styles that all you see is a coarse mix of chalk and cheese. Just listen to the interludes of IR and you will see, how IR makes exactly that chalk seem so natural a part of cheese. Just listen to Oru siriya paravai, apparently 'just another' IR song from a flop flick 'Antha oru nimidam', IR takes you on a wild, winding safari through the music scapes of carnatic, western classical, pop, and what not. If this is for just another song, what can i say about Kadhal Oviyam (Alagial Oyvathillai), Nizhalgal songs, Kan Malargalin Alaipithal (Thaipongal) and many others. My memory is so utterly inadequate to recall each of the song i enjoyed.

A few pointers that might be of help:
  • Listen to the way IR blends, swaps layers of male and female voice one over the other at the same time. E.g. the evergreen "Poomalaiyae" from Pagalnilavu
  • Listen to IR's guitar compositions especially the way he uses bass guitar. For instance, "Vaanengum thanga" from Moondrampirai (i'm sure not many of you would have heard about this song)
  • Focus on the way IR blends pucca western classical notes with our folk music and lyrics. E.g. Listen to the classic violin prelude in "Pothi vecha" from Man Vasanai
  • Any IR+SPB+SJ combo is a feast in itself.
Mind you, all this doesn't require any musical knowledge, whatsoever. Just a pair of listening ears is more than enough. The cheapest ticket you can ever get to heaven.

BGM Badsha

One in a million chance for anyone else to beat IR on BGMs. I seriously doubt whether even Hollywood or any other filmdom would have had so much spice in their back ground scores. So many films wouldn't have been what they were without IR's bgm. Take Aanpaavam, not exactly a musical film. But still I am crazily in love with the bgm from Aanpaavam. And i dont think there is a need to comment on the pathetic bgms that we hear these days. And of course, when you can't expect really great bgms every time even with the great ARR, you know who the biggest culprit is by now. Harris. No prizes for guessing.

There seems to be no IR vaarisu as such in tamil films, ellaarum deva vaarisungala irukkaanga. There is a ever bigger dogfight nowadays as to who gets to the latest hip hop hits faster than anybody else. And the crown undoubtedly goes to Harris. Though AR Rahman and Yuvan also lift some songs, they do come up with some scintillating original scores once in a while. But i am completely clueless as to why Harris Jeyaraj, the most undeserving among them, is so successful. "Suttum vizhi sudare - Ghajini. ok, bearable. Partha muthal naale - Vettaiyadu Vilayadu.... sari polachu poguthu... ithu pathaathunnu athayae vidaama... unakkul naane - Pachaikili Muthucharam layum athu yenda yerkanvae setha paamba thiruppi thiruppi intha saavadi adikkireenga..." But, there is no point in blaming him alone, it all because of the tamil fraternity which has undergone mass STM loss like Ghajini, ironically the beginning of this episode.

All said, enlightenment is not something that can be shared. After all, how can one explain the inexplicable? Of mystics, they say "Those who speak, don't know, those who know, don't speak." I think it is high time i stopped doing the talking.

kadalai kasakkuthayya...

Enna ithu vara vara post title ellaam tamil layae vekkireengalaennu neraya peru kekkaraanga. Padathukku tamil la per vecha incentive tharra maathiri blog postukkum tamil per vechaa tax incentive tharuvaangalonnu oru chinna nappasa thaan. What actually happened was i came to like the titles used in Sara's blog (the only part of his posts that i can really understand), but I was really finding it difficult to think of titles like those. Then i stumbled upon usha's blog and got inspired to name my posts in tamil. Tamil vaazhga!!!

I reckon this is going to be the most informative post i have ever written. Before we begin...

Important Disclaimer
By kadalai, the author hereby refers to the widely prevalent practice of conversing with the opposite gender for humanly impossible long hours, with absolutely no transfer of knowledge, whatsoever. The title of this post and its content thereof is by no means a guarantee that the author intends to reduce the intensity or completely stop the concerned practice in the foreseeable future. The author wishes to thank one and all for providing him with such a deep understanding of the above-mentioned process.

Kadalai is more of an art, that too a very delicate and the hardest-to-master one at that.

A sack of peanuts and frying pan is sufficient, but certainly not enough. More often than not, guys (not gender specific) tend to overdo it. Sometimes, you fry it so shallow that it is disappointingly tasteless; sometimes, it gets fried deeper than it ought to be and then leaves a very bad, bitter taste that lingers so long in your mouth that you need even more fresh peanuts to flush it down.To get it perfectly fried, you need not only an expert chef's culinary
knowledge and skills but also the perseverance and detachment of a Tibetan monk.

Kadalai has much in common with meditation than anything else. Both have the same goal: losing oneself. Or realizing oneself, whichever way you want to put it. This need sits right up there - on the top of the top of the pyramid of needs proposed by Abraham Maslow. I am sure i don't have to submit proof for this; many of you would already have lost yourselves several times in such manner or if you are at the lower rungs of the needs pyramid and not so much interested in self-realization, you would have at least witnessed many of your friends deep in such team meditation.

Unlike your acads, which sharpen your concentration, kadalai increases your awareness. It is very important to understand the basic difference between concentration and awareness. Concentration is inherently one-dimensional. It focuses all your energy on a single thing at a given time, leaving you at a disadvantage. On the other hand, awareness is multi-dimensional or no-dimensional, as you want to see it. It acknowledges and embraces the existence in its totality. Awareness conserves your energy and applies it only when it is really necessary. Thus, kadalai helps you stay alert, energetic and make the most of your miserable lives by increasing your awareness levels.

Come to think of it, kadalai is more efficient than meditation on many counts. While meditation consciously sweats towards reaching the realization goal, with kadalai, the process just happens in a jiffy and so effortlessly.

Well, i know it is not as easy as i make it out to be. A lot depends on the IQ (the lower, the better; as you very well know two wise people can't be friends), GQ (Absolutely needs to be high on this scale, need i emphasize more?) and EQ (better be low to keep you both together and sail through the hardships of the kadalai process) of the partner(s) you have. But, the heartening fact is that with kadalai, you have more than enough operational freedom: if one conks out, you have the ample freedom to resume with another asap. And the best part is, with the ownership and commitment being so low, it doesn't leave you feeling any worse.

And the goodies just doesn't end there. Exactly as it happens as you go deeper and deeper into meditation, with kadalai too, you realize the meaninglessness/ meaningfulness of life. It might be a bit confusing here. How can the same thing lead to totally opposite ends i.e. meaninglessness/ meaningfulness of life? Let us try to understand it. It might help to draw a parallel here with something we have assumed to have known all along. Shaiva and vaishnava philosophies. While a shaivaite goes on denying existence (why do you think then he wears ash on his forehead and his deity Shiva is depicted to be living in the burial ground?), a vaishnavaite revels in festivities (think of all the beauty you see at Vishnu temples and the tasty dishes that you get there) all through his life. It is similar to the cliched half empty/half full, optimistic/pessimistic views. Despite the popular theory that the negative, pessimistic view is inferior to the positive, optimistic view, both are right. When you say it is half full, you essentially imply that it is half empty. Only difference is the focus or the point of reference. Just like that, both shaivaite and vaishnavaite reach the same ends but take different approaches. In a similar vein, with kadalai, no matter what, whichever conclusion you get to at the end, you are absolutely right.

Fine. Enough for today. Time to meditate!!!

Note
IQ: Intelligence Quotient; GQ: Glamour Quotient; EQ: Emotional Quotient

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Naadham en jeevanae... 1

Nowadays, i m getting too religious. And the religion is Illayaraja.

I think that should give you at least a faint idea about how utterly biased this post is going to be!!! ;) In a way, this is just another hymn on the Raja. Of course, this post is not going to add anything. In fact, I still wonder if i have anything to add. It is just that I wanted to reflect on my rediscovery of Illayaraja. And what a discovery it has been!!!

Before i get too prayerful, let us get some facts straight.

My knowledge of music is zilch. In fact, only now I am trying hard to learn to distinguish between different instrument sounds. And I don't really intend to learn any music.

As any average 25 something tamilian, I too grew up listening to IR right from my nenavu therinja days. And as happens to folks coming from other parts of Tamilnadu to Chennai, once i was in Chennai for my B.E., i too was very much into listening engileesu songs, partly out of my curiosity and partly out of necessity. After all, one's music tastes is more a matter of life/death than just personal choice: apparently you got to know at least a couple of lines from popular english songs or not even a single gal would bother to have a second look at you.

And just like any self-respecting guy, brought up on the heavy dosage of 101 Sure Ways to Get a Girl, tried and time-tested by each and every hero in tamil-film history, I too set up on the Mission Mr.Peter. Ethana padathula paathurukkom: Paattu paadi paalum karappanga, appdiyae ponaa poguthunnu micha timela sidela nikkara figarayum madipaanga. So, armed with such deep knowledge of the female psyche, there I was among the many poor souls who spent more time listening to the incorrigible english songs more than to our lecturers. That those lectures were even more mysterious is another issue anyway. Boys la varra Bob Gaali (played by Barath) maathiri oru koottame suthittu irunthuthu. I am quite positive that you can find such souls on any planet, any time.

Inspite of all that I told till now, my music tastes were quite exotic, at least it appeared so to me at that point of the time. I have had my own share of rock to heavy metal, carnatic: Sudha Ragunathan, Bombay Jayashree, world music: from Peter Gabriel to Yungchen Lhama, instrumental: Yanni, Joe Satriani, Kenny G and Indian maestros like Zakir and AmjadAli Khan, pop: MJ, Dr Alban and all those bands of boys and gals, Enigma, Snap etc. Ok ok avlo thaan niruthitten... ippo kooda ithellaam sollalaenna epdi!!! ;)

So, ippo naan enna solla varraennaa... "Yaamarindha mozhigalile tamil mozhi pol inidhavathu engum kaanom" nu Bharathi sonna mathiri, "Yaamarintha isaiyinile ilayarasa pol inidhavadhu engum kaanom". Ithukku thaan avlo buildup.

One might argue all this craze for IR is just classical conditioning, just like the famous case of Pavlov's dog. "You hear so much of IR's music that you associate parts of it with events in your life. It is this associative process that makes you identify yourself with IR's music and therefore love it." Some Freud disciples among you might say "The root of your love for Illayaraja is in your disturbed ;) childhood" and try deconstruction. "It is a process of slow hypnotism: the more you listen to it, the deeper it gets into your subconsciousness. Your love grows from that subconscious association."

Though all this and a bit of nostalgia might play a part, the reason is much more than just a rusted memory playing back the notes heard long ago. It is not out of a dark, hidden pit of subconsciousness that my love for IR grows, but it springs out of complete awareness and bliss.

Like Krishna says in Gita: all you need to get to God is to remember, one fine evening, I started remembering. And finally, I ARRIVED, as the mystics say, and I found that my long and tiring journey had ended exactly where I started - Illayaraja, the treasure in my own backyard that I had forgotten and lost in my vain search for The MUSIC outside.

Once I reached home, I find no need now to look outside. By saying this, I m not trying to belittle the skills of the so many musicians that i have come to really enjoy all along the way. It is just that now i am indifferent to others. Now, I have IR, nothing else matters.


If nothing else feels like coming home, then listening to IR is coming home for me. Now, tell me where your home is?

P.S.
Naadham innum olikkum.... ;)

Sunday, January 21, 2007

salangai oli...

Just the other day, thanks to my fever, I was at home bunking office and I happened to watch Salangai Oli by K Viswanath. A great film, mind you it was dubbed in tamil from telugu (well i am not really sure about this), with exceptional performances by Jayapradha, Kamal Hassan and even his torn shoes. It is one of those movies that unfailingly make my eyes moist at least once before it ends. Most often (as with most of the audience I am sure), it is the scene where Jayapradha gives the national dance festival invitation to Kamal. Or the scene in which Kamal meets his dying mother. Or it might be even one of those scenes where drunkard old Kamal talks to Sarathbabu or his wife.

The immense strength of the film’s emotion comes from Illayaraja. Who else can possibly do that, if not the Raja? K Viswanath’s direction is just brilliant all through. And gosh!!! Jayapradha looks so divine. No wonder Satyajit Ray adorned her so much.

By mere coincidence, on the same day, I happened to read a review of Cinema Paradiso in an old issue of Anantha Vikatan. It is supposedly one of the greatest movies ever made on this earth. Is our own Salangai Oli any less? A Big NO is my answer.

If the western dickheads and those that are born in India who ape them don’t think so, I would give ‘em the middle finger! You might call me an emotional idiot. May be I am. May be not. I jus don’t give a damn! And most of the Indian “elite” that I have met just shove aside Indian films such as this as “tear jerkers” in the likes of Karan Johar (without him no discussion of Indian cinema would be complete, right? At least that’s what the national news channels make me think. Whether Karan Johar makes good films or not is another issue anyway.)

What is realism in films? Most often, we, the elite, tend to consider Hollywood as the god-sent standard with a totally unjustified reverence... So if you underplay like they do there, we have no qualms accepting you as a good actor. (i think this deserves another lengthy post!!!)

Most often, these “elite” friends of mine say they feel like fools when watching films like Salangai Oli. These films make you cry, so what? It is probably the unconscious resistance to show one’s “weakness”, if a heart (kind or otherwise) that identifies itself with a third person be it on screen or off screen, can ever be called a “weakness”.

Or it might be even our fear of emotions, either ours or others’. Probably it is a symptom of the fact that we are losing our skills to deal with emotions. And this argument seems to have a high chance of being true. With so many of us getting educated and becoming intelligent?!, we are capable of confronting violence or answering many intriguing puzzles of nature, but not our own emotions.

We have become so impervious to emotive stimuli (forgive my technical language!) that today we have to have blood spattering gruesomely on our faces to stir our animal instincts and make us understand that the actor is under pain. In the name of reality, all that we are doing is to provide sadistic pleasures and satisfy the bloody animal within.

It seems we are losing our understanding of the subtle language of emotions.